Let’s start at the very beginning……

I was adopted when I was very young along with my twin sister. We have always known that we were adopted. We had a somewhat happy life but we never felt like we truly belonged. Our adoptive parents already had their own children who were at least 20 years older than us. Things started to go a bit awry when their birth daughter had a daughter of her own. We didn’t feel like we were wanted anymore (we were about 9 at the time). In fact, most of the time we were treated like free child-minder’s. Then their son had a child and that was it. It was like we were in the way. An inconvenience. A burden. In fact I remember one day we were going home from the park; myself, my twin, adoptive mother and her biological granddaughter. My adoptive mother was driving and she suddenly had to slam her brakes on due to a car cutting her up. This resulted in the grand-daughter flying forward, nearly hurting herself. There was a lack of communication with who was strapping the grand-daughter into her car seat. My adoptive mother had presumed that one of us had done it. Anyway, she turns round and looks at us and screams ”I WISH I’D NEVER HAD YOU! I WISH I’D NEVER LAID MY BLOODY EYES ON YOU!” Do you know how hard that is to hear at such a young age?! Do you know how hard that is to hear coming from your adoptive mother?! Not only had we been rejected by our birth parents but now our adoptive mother was saying she didn’t want us. It hurt. In fact it still hurts to this day. And this is some 20 years later. This memory, aswell as a lot more I will share with you (some that are so horrifying it doesn’t bear thinking about), are one of the reasons stopping me from rebuilding a relationship with my adoptive parents. I have not spoke to them in 7 years now. Nor have I spoken to their birth son. As soon as I fell out with my adoptive parents he cut off ties. Surprisingly, their birth daughter didn’t. I still speak to her now and again and we have catch up’s but it feels awkward between us. We will eventually get onto the subject of how the estrangement came about. Thank you for reading my story 🙂